It has finally happened.  This is my third week off work after having a nervous breakdown, and boy are they pissed about it  It is so nice to have such supportive bosses NOT.

I am not sure how I feel yet, so I want to write it down to see if I can clarify the whirling thoughts in my mind.  I am kind of vancant, not functioning well.  I have been put on meds, and perhaps these are numbing my enotions - I like this though, it doesn't hurt as much.  I cannot seem to do anything though. No motivation to do anything apart from sit and play stupid games online.  I have managed two weeks of picking shit up in the field though - it has done my head in though, made OCD worse, so I have stopped that for the moment.

I can;t sleep well, and I think I am going to self harm soon I can feel it coming on.  I need to do it though.  I have also been listening to music, which is not like me at all.  I don't want to speak to anyone, so I am sat here listening to George Michael (I like his songs).

I am just mental I suppose, I don't lnow what to do with myself.  I want to run away.