I am feeling depressed today. Even though I decided to end it with the ex, it is still hard. I didn't think my heart would hurt this much. I hoped the weight would go forever, but it has only temporarily gone. No one says anything to me, but I suppose I hide it well. I always hide stuff well, no one knows I hurt unless I tell them. No one knows until I either break or snap or admit all. And I cannot admit all. It is too hard to say it. This is easier. The front I have works. Well for a while it works anyway. I don't know what will happen. I have loads to look forward to, but I am becoming sensitive to criticism, and even to advice. Why? Because I am struggling to cope with this. The heady rush of freedom is over, all that is left is empty and wondering what could have been. Should I have done something different? Should I have tried harder? No, not that - I would have been mad by now. We shall see how I feel tomorrow. Probably shite going by how I feel now.